Best GTA copypastas

GTA online as a female character

One time I was playing GTA online as a female character and some dude came up to me asking if I wanted a good time. As any reasonable person would do, I said yes and got in his car. He made me crouch in front of him to “blow him” and he would air thrust in my direction, all the while messaging me “oh yeah” and “ugghhh” kinda thing. As terrible as it sounds, he would protect me from other players and would pull out his super nice brand new DLC cars for me to drive around in and he would carry me through missions for ez money. I even would make him take me out to burger and taco places before he could have his way with me. 10/10 would do it again, helped me pay for my first nice car.

edit: am dude

Big Smoke's order

Voice Comm: Can I take your order please?
Big Smoke: Carl, what do you want? You gotta eat to keep your strength up, man.
CJ: Ey, I’ll take a number 9, fat boy.
Ryder: Give me a number 9, just like him.
Sweet: I’ll have a number 6 with extra dip.
Big Smoke: I’ll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda.

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